why am i even here? I am so far away from home... from everything that i know.. from everything that is familiar to me... what am i doing here? besides crying my eyes out? besides missing my siblings grow up? besides missing out on all the memories? besides tryiing to be independent?
i don't think i've ever missed home this much... i just wanna be home... i wanna be in that chaos.. i wanna be there to hear the ridiculous arguments... to tease, to be teased... sure i have great people here... but i need my family...
i missed connors birthday... katie and dee's birthdays... i'm missing them grow up... and there's nothing i can do about it... absolutely nothing.. i wan't them here now more than anything...
(time elapse)
okay... tears have subsided for now... yeah yeah yeah. i know i'm here for a reason, this is where i wanna go to school, i even belive God wants me here... blah blah blah.
yeah whatever... there are reasons for me being here... and i'm not leaving.. i know... but being here now.. with family... doing nothing... having tons of downtime... no distractions.. knowing that i'm going to see a bunch more family... and also knowing that MY family isn't going to be there is killing me...
so sorry for the totally depressing and tear-jerking blog.... (as i'm sure it was) i'll try to be a bit more perky and happy next time i write.
~Lyss
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