Not Sure

So once again I'm in a pickle.
I care but I don't care anymore.
She is so ignorant.
She doesnt see the love all around her.
And instead is blinded by so many lies that all she can exude is lies and hatred.
She Has pushed me to my limit.
There is no turning back.
I can't and wont care in the same way that I have up until now.
I have dealt with the lies.
I have dealt with the empty promises.
I have dealt with conversations that lasted hours and went no where.
But I won't deal with this.
Not anymore.
You will not deceive me again.
I will be here.
I will do my best to show you love and care.
But I'm done expecting you to change.
Good Job.
You're only the second person to ever make me loose that hope that you will change.
Only the second.
Congratulations.

Break

So summer break is....
Well I can't quite make up my mind as to what it is.
It's been relaxing, stressful, fun, boring... yeah
I've finished two books already, more than halfway through the third and am going to start Twilight...
work is... well it's work.
Just not enough of it.
I'm only working two days this coming week.
So I don't know how I'm going to have any money for school.
I'm officially going to have to take out some major loans this semester.
This will be the first time.
and I keep telling myself that's a good thing
I made it through two years without having to take one out.
But the thought of starting it now is kind of scary
But it's okay
I'll be alright.
I also miss my friends
and of course my boyfriend
why on earth I go to a school 1500 miles from home i really don't know.
But that's also okay.
He's coming to visit in 24 days and then there is only a month and a half till I get to see everyone else.
but in all of that, it's so good to be home.
I have missed being here.
I love my family
They are all growing up so fast.
I'll have to tell you all about them later.
ttfn! =P

Endings...

Another ending, or is it another beginning?

It seems like the end to everything is just the beginning of another thing.

Time is such a funny thing, it moves at such a strange pace.

Someone recently told me that time is perfect, if it moved any faster or any slower it would suck. 

So much has happened in the past two years. 

I can hardly believe it all when I think about it.

God has been leading me and directing me for so long.

I have been so blessed.

There have been so many opportunities for me to royally screw up, so many times that it would have been easy for me to just give it up and do what i want to do.

But through it all I've stayed on track.

Not because of me, and my will, but because of Him, and the people He has placed in my life.

Some people have been in my life only for a season when I thought they would be in it forever, others have stayed far longer than I thought they would.

I have finally started to learn to appreciate endings, because with each one comes the opportunity to begin something new.

Communication is Key

Is there anything better than pouring out your heart to another person? Is there anything better than knowing that you can tell someone anything, and then actually doing it? I have realized that I found that person. We can talk about anything and everything. I don't know if I actually fully realized that until tonight. Instead of doing anything else we sat and talked for two hours about everything. Our hopes and dreams, our fears, our churches, church itself, families, future and how terrifying it is.

I sometimes wish that I could make things for other people so much more simple for them. I wish that I could actually make everything work out fine and dandy. If only I could simplify the lives of others. But I feel like in just listening and being there I am helping in some way or another. I feel like I'm being used, in every positive meaning of that word.

I guess that's it for tonight... Just needed to throw that out there. =]