Faith...

Have you ever felt like your faith was put to the test but it didn't come out on top? have you ever felt like you were in a pivotal moment in your life and the thing you thought the 'needed' to happen didn't happen? have you ever doubted something that you believed was suppose to be crucial to your faith?

I have.

I don't think I really, truly, way down deep, believe in healing... on the surface I do. On the surface I know that God can do anything. But when it comes down to the moment, and I am praying for someone to be healed, for a cancer to leave, for a life to be spared, for a back to be touched... There is a voice that gets stronger in my head... a voice that tells me that it hasn't happened yet and that it never will.
And so I pray, I prayed a simple prayer today... "You know (whoever I'm praying over) and you know me, show us your love, and heal them." seems easy enough... Maybe God would listen this time...
Negatory. Not today. Today was not that day that God would show us and prove his love to me.
Why the confusion? Why do I feel so confused? Why can't I just accept that sometimes people don't get healed? Is it because I always pray and nothing happens? Is it because I only ever hear about it but have never seen it?

I don't know... I only know what it feels like.