Perfect Timing....

10/6/08
So… God is amazing… that’s just in case any of you did not already know… Somehow He knows what you need and when you really do need it…. Don’t ask me how, He just does… I was at my breaking point… having been for awhile… and tonight… God did something amazing… He spoke to me. The service He led spoke to me. And then He had someone else speak to me. So I suppose that kind of means third time’s the charm… at least for me.
Tonight I expected chapel to be really good, mostly because I knew that Campus Choir was going to be singing and I love them to death… but not because I thought anything in the message would pertain to my life or what is going on in my life. I was completely wrong… Loran Livingston was the speaker and he talked about some things he has learned about God over the years…


1) God will NEVER allow me to be comfortable.
a. When you are comfortable you are not growing
i. Stress, hard times, heart break, headache- all give room for growth
2) HE IS my comfort, hope, and peace
a. He doesn’t give it He IS it
3) God Uses my weaknesses NOT my strengths
a. God does not see you the way that you see you
i. He sees the result while you only see the process
ii. Everyone God uses thought they were unusable
iii. WHEN HE PUTS HIS HAND ON YOU IT DOESN’T COME OFF
iv. WHEN YOU REALIZE WHERE YOU ARE (YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT GOD) YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN SOMETHING AMAZING. (IN YOUR WEAKNESS HE IS MADE STRONG)
v. GOD NEVER GIVES UP ON YOU
vi. YOUR ROAD IS SPECIALLY DESIGNED
1. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT THAT YOU ARE HERE
vii. IF GOD STARTED IT HE WILL COMPLETE IT
4) He will not do what you are dreaming He will do
a. Because what He has for you is better than what you can even imagine


And that right there was the sermon… It was preached for me and I didn’t even realize it. So when the sermon ended he had an altar call for… well I cant remember what for… but I was torn, I wanted to go but figured it would not do any good… so I just stood and worshipped until they started playing the song “Amazed” by Lincoln Brewster… and then I just sat down, put my head in my hands and prayed…
I have been wanting to cry… just cry my eyes out for a good 2 weeks now… and I haven’t been able to shed a single tear… I even watched some movies like Gladiator and Brave Heart in hopes that I would tear up, to no avail…
So as I sat there, head in my hands, so confused, lost upset, frustrated, and in need of a good cry, I finally opened up to God… told Him what was wrong, told Him I was lost, oh so terribly lost… and I knew what I needed to be doing… I know that where I am, is not where I am supposed to be… in school, relationships, and myself.
Earlier today I had a meeting with Debbie White at the center for Calling and Career… and I suppose that was in a way, a wakeup call. We talked and I told her a lot of what was going on, at least as much as you tell a person in the space of a half an hour. We talked about change, and I told her that one of the biggest changes I was seeing in myself was that I was wanting more and more independence. To my shock she was not cautious, telling me to be careful how much independence I wanted, but instead told me that it was good for me! And that I need more independence or someday I will wake up and realize that my life is not my own. She also talked about my major change… asked me why I changed and how I felt about it… asked me about my summer… and asked me what I was feeling in regards to my calling… and I told her everything… I told her I changed my major because it was ‘the smart thing to do’ and I told her that I worked with the youth group this summer and LOVED it… I told her I didn’t necessarily love the Preaching/Teaching part but LOVED the personal relationships, and giving advice when I could, and listening when I needed to, and I have a real passion for Drama/Human Videos/Interpretative Movement (Whatever label you want to put on it) and as we talked I knew that she was thinking the same thing that I was… Education is not for me… with my ‘Strengths’ and what I said she mentioned something that I had been thinking about… Counseling…
So as you can see all day I have been seeing and listening and realizing more and more that it is my move.. my turn.. There is nothing else that anyone else can do, its all up to me. I realized that as I was praying,,, and then the most unexpected thing ever happened… someone that I hardly knew came over to me and started praying for me… and I knew every word came straight from Heaven… and I finally cried…
Now all that is left is for me to act on it… and I plan to soon… Thanks Jesus for having Patience with me…