Changes...

Oh how life changes. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. I have officially graduated from college with a degree in Psychology. I thought that I would be best off doing School Counseling at the same school I graduated from. I was already accepted to their program and was in the process of making plans to move with my best friend to that town. I had my life perfectly planned out. nearly every detail. I had perfect reasons for attending that school, for choosing that program, for keeping everything the way that I had it.

Now everything is changing. I have decided to go to a school closer to home. (If that's what Maine still is. My family is here... I grew up here... I think it is still home, but I haven't thought of it that way in a few years. I have spent the last 2 years planning my life around a single variable. And now that very thing seems to no longer be a part of the equation. And the hardest part is that I am the one writing the equation.) I have changed my decision in what field I want to go into as well. Now I am wanting to study in the field of Clinical Psychology. I am really excited about this field as well. It is so interesting and I have enjoyed everything I have learned in the subject. So I know that I will enjoy the program. And I know I will enjoy the change.

I don't know what the right choice is here. I use to think I knew. I thought there was only one answer. But now I don't. There are so many different possibilities in front of me, and I don't know what to choose. I wish someone else could choose for me. I wish that the equation would just write itself. I wish that I wasn't hurting someone else. However, I have learned that wishes simply don't come true. I don't have a pony, haven't won a million, haven't sold the property, and this problem didn't just disappear over time.

I am ready for change. But not for this much...