Please dont spaz when you read this its just a blog written in my frustration...
So it seems like everything is all falling apart. I don’t know what is going on. Between friends here and friends/family at home I just want to know who is doing ok. There is so much hurt and drama and I just do not know what to say anymore… I can relate with every situation because I have either been there myself or am there now… I just do not know anymore… it seems like there are more things to worry about than to be thankful for… I know that that not true so don’t bother scolding me but that is exactly how I feel right now… I just need something… but the things that I want and the things that I need are so different…
*sigh*
Honestly I just want to stop and do what I want to do and give up on everyone else. It would be so easy… so incredibly easy… at least when compared to what I’m dealing with now… the simplicity of what I think I could do is so appealing and the voice of my conscious is becoming more silent with every day… I guess my biggest deal here is a desire to be able to make my own decision without being judged… or being told what to do.
I hate being told what to do with my life. I am done listening. I can’t stand it anymore. I just want you to love me for me. Some of you do. And some of you don’t. I just want to be me, who I want to be, not who you want me to be.
When I go home… I go back to being Daddy’s little girl… Mommy’s baby… and sometimes I love that… I love my Mom and Dad…. And they love me.. they want to protect me from everything… forever… but what they don’t see is that they can’t. they don’t realize that for 9 months out of the year I get to be my own person and make my own decisions… and I love it… ever seen ‘Dirty Dancing’? if you have you will understand exactly where this is coming from: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”
I just don’t know… maybe this is just a mood I am in for a week… maybe it will all pass and I’ll be fine when I wake up and wonder why I ever wrote this and see that I am perfectly content with life and who I am and everything… and if so I’ll let you know..
Oh well…. I guess I just needed to vent…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GuX-F08fwI
*sigh*
Honestly I just want to stop and do what I want to do and give up on everyone else. It would be so easy… so incredibly easy… at least when compared to what I’m dealing with now… the simplicity of what I think I could do is so appealing and the voice of my conscious is becoming more silent with every day… I guess my biggest deal here is a desire to be able to make my own decision without being judged… or being told what to do.
I hate being told what to do with my life. I am done listening. I can’t stand it anymore. I just want you to love me for me. Some of you do. And some of you don’t. I just want to be me, who I want to be, not who you want me to be.
When I go home… I go back to being Daddy’s little girl… Mommy’s baby… and sometimes I love that… I love my Mom and Dad…. And they love me.. they want to protect me from everything… forever… but what they don’t see is that they can’t. they don’t realize that for 9 months out of the year I get to be my own person and make my own decisions… and I love it… ever seen ‘Dirty Dancing’? if you have you will understand exactly where this is coming from: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”
I just don’t know… maybe this is just a mood I am in for a week… maybe it will all pass and I’ll be fine when I wake up and wonder why I ever wrote this and see that I am perfectly content with life and who I am and everything… and if so I’ll let you know..
Oh well…. I guess I just needed to vent…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GuX-F08fwI
1 comment:
dont worry, everything's gonna be okay.......develop a hobby.. something you like....
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